Wednesday, July 25, 2007

You Better Stop, Hey, What’s That Sound, Everybody Look What’s Goin’ Down…

Vick is sick, Professional Sports are falling apart and so is Lohan, as for those folks who wait in line for a 600 page book about a boy named Potter, well that’s a lost cause…so just what the F is going on these days?

There’s battle lines being drawn, and nobody’s right, if everybody’s wrong.

“Dogs, You can’t go to Jail for Dogs.” Actually Mr. Clinton Portis, you can, it’s called a felony, look it up. As for your dog breeding, I just run around a lot and make poor decisions but I’m real fast friend who “ain’t never heard of no house in Virginia,” well let’s just say this fella here is pretty pumped to see Vick in the doghouse.

This to me is just the perfect example of what happens when young men are thrown into the spotlight, made into celebrities, given millions and millions of dollars and adored by fans, admired by children and desired by women. That’s got be one heck of a burden. Them having every opportunity in the world handed to them; couldn’t imagine having that kind of pressure in my life. In fact, I like balancing my checkbook, being a mediocre athlete and going to extreme measures to get girls to even realize I exist. But, at least I don’t host dog slaughter parties, that’s just about the dumbest damn thing I’ve ever heard of. It sickens me to know that the average person, well at least average good person, works their whole life just to get by and support their family so that at the end of their days they may have enough money to retire and not be a burden on their children. Meanwhile, in La La Land, men in their mid twenties are paid more money in one year than most small businesses generate in sales for that same amount of time. What do they do with this money? Well a lot do give to charities etc., but that’s tough to admire because the league makes them. Most however, just buy shit, throw parties and make the average man jealous and aspire to unrealistic goals. When you have enough money to buy a house that you have never been to, and your friends have dog fights at that house and massive parties, well you may just have a little too much money and far too little intelligence.

Why do these people make so much money and why do so many of them make such ridiculous decisions with their money and fame?

There’s too many factors to consider, but mostly it’s because they are just plain ignorant and in no way deserve the amount of power they have. What’s wrong with paying these people the same amount of money successful businessmen make? I think no athlete in the first 2 years of their career should make more than $150K a year, no one, not even after endorsements. They haven’t proved a damn thing, and they obviously have no idea what to do with all of that money.

There’s something happening here, what it is ain’t exactly clear.

This of course brings to light the other side of money and fame that bellies up to star athletes, that is of course is Hollywood. It would be one thing if Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton were actually as attractive as the media makes them out to be, it would be another if either of them ever accomplish anything in their life. Any way you look at it, these people suck and they make me sad.

I’ve never seen a movie with that freckle fest ginger kid (I have seen two with Paris, they were pretty good, one not great film quality) and can’t imagine I ever will. So what makes her so freakin’ important? Why do I need to know shit about her? Why is she on CNN, USAToday and the Drudgereport? Because she’s a damn joke, that’s why. As a society we can’t really do anything to keep these fools from having all that money, fame and access, so what do we hope for? We hope they just fuck it up, that’s what we hope for. I got plenty of friends that get drunk, make terrible decisions and quiet a many of them have been to jail…more than once. But when we go out we know that we aren’t going to end up as the exclusive on Entertainment Tonight, in high-speed pursuit of our ‘assistants,’ stumbling out of a car, cussing photographers, carrying drugs on us, with no panties on, two weeks after ‘graduating’ from rehab. Just use a little bit sense, that’s all it takes.

The only thing I would want to hear less than another news report about Lindsay Heyhon would be a lecture on good housekeeping tips read by a drunk Diane Rehm.

Folks like Tom Brady throw parties, have sex with models, buy what they want, but you know what they are amazing at what they do and they don’t make an ass of themselves on the evening news.

Paranoia strikes deep, into your life it will creep.

Barry Bonds is on roids, a lot of them…has been for a while. Baseball to me has always been a waste. Far too individualistic and statistically oriented, the sport has come to be nothing but stats on top of stats, superstitions and a bore to watch. Its most famous players these days aren’t amazing base stealers, clutch pitchers or jackpot shortstops…they’re the guys that win the Home Run derby. Yawn. Even worse is how most of these guys 4 years ago were skinny 17 year olds from the Dominican Republic; today they are 32 and weigh 250lbs. I eat Wheaties like the rest of the kids on my block, but damn, I find that a little tough to swallow. It’s gotten so bad that the commissioner of the sport has mixed emotions about attending games where Bonds may break the HR record. That’s bad, real bad. This guy, in theory, should be THE BIGGEST advocate for the sport there is and he doesn’t even want to watch this meat head break a time honored and well respected record by a class act and one heck of a ball player. Who can blame ‘em. Just like the single season HR race (which I believe was staged) of a few years back, I’m just waiting for this one to get over with so I don’t have to hear about it anymore.

You know if you are gonna cheat at least make it worth watching. Getting big enough to knock a ball into the stands, but being too fat to run the bases is not achieving what the Greeks had in mind. That being said, cheating happens and it happens too often. Most of it goes unseen or is done to give a slight edge. Maybe your HS football team could ‘never find a dry ball’ for the opposition or maybe Jimmy Johnson has a little too much action on his spoiler, that’s part of it. But betting on games, when you are reffing them, that’s just ruining it for everyone involved and I do mean everyone. What blows my mind is how if these illegal bets were going on to determine the outcome of NBA games, then why are they still such a drag to watch? If you are gonna go, go big. Kick Shaq out of the game with two tech’s in the first 3min of the game, then I’ll watch…maybe, they’re might be a good episode of South Park on.

The NFL needs to get control of their athletes off the field, but for now the game is preserved and the reputation remains untarnished, which is more than can be said about NBA and MLB.

A thousand people in the street, singing songs and carrying signs.

Speaking reputations tarnished, why in the world are people lining up in the streets to buy a book? I know it’s Harry Potter and he’s like the greatest thing since Teletubbies, but thousands of teenage and NON-teenage people flooding stores to get their grubby hands wrapped around the cover a 600 page book filled with imaginary words and ghosts and goblins, well not thanks. Hey, at least they are reading right?

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